Harry Potter & the TT's Monty Python Style!
by pandellabear
Summary: Draco and hermione will get together somehow, right?
1. Hello?

**Title**

_A story by Ellie (rumplekitty16) and her friend Mina (Bluerose- S.S.)._

A/N- Dragonhead Dan is a Slytherin friend of Draco's who has a dragon for a head. Exon is Mina's little cousin, a Gryffindor version of Draco. Mina is Hermione's old friend from Middle Earth who is an elf. Legolan is Legolas's son, Mina's boyfriend. Rose is Mina's other little cousin in Gryffindor. Devon is Rose's boyfriend and Jenna is a little goth/emo girl who is going out with Exon. Starlight is Starfire's sister, in blue.

Draco and Hermione are the Head Students it's their 7th year.

Hermione and Draco were in a duel. He had once again called her a 'Mudblood' after she had called him 'Stupid Ferret Boy', which she and her elfish friend Mina had decided to call him. She was a relative of Draco's. Mina was Sirius Black and Madrilène the elf's daughter. Sirius and Draco's mother, Narcissa were siblings (Cousins maybe? Ah we don't know so whatever!). Draco was about to cast the 'Evertay Spatum' (spelling?) spell when suddenly six unknown beings dropped into the middle of their 'Battle Field'.

All of the people watching them duel (Harry, Ron, Ginny, Blaise, Jenna, Exon, Rose, Devon, Legolan, Mina, and Dragonhead Dan) gasped in horror at what just happened.

"Um Malfoy, I think you said the spell wrong." Hermione said looking him in the eyes.

"I did no such thing…. You filthy little Mudblood!" Ron reached out to go and attack him, but he had the whole crowd holding him back.

"Well it's better then being a puney little ferret!" Mina interrupted. He glared at her while Hermione acknowledged the newcomer's presence.

"What place is this of yours?" one being asked, she had red hair, green sparkling eyes, and was dressed in purple.

"Um- this is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Ron said. Everyone glared at him, what if they weren't magical? What if Voldemort sent them?

"Oh great going Weasel-bee, now we're screwed!" Malfoy spat.

"Aww did the ferret get mad at the weasel?" Mina teased.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!" Hermione screamed. She made the intruders turn into their little baby with big head forms crying and quivering (in case you didn't know they are the Teen Titans!).

"Thank you, now who are you?"

"We're the- Ready Guys?" Robin asked. As they broke out in song (and dance!),

_When there's trouble you know who to call, TEEN TITANS!_

_From their tower they can see it all, TEEN TITANS!_

_When there's evil on the attack,_

_You can rest knowing they've got your back_

_Cause when the world needs heroes on patrol, TEEN TITANS, GO!_

_With their superpowers they unite, TEEN TITANS_

_Never met a villain that they liked, TEEN TITANS_

_They've got the bad guys on the run_

_And never stop till the job is done_

_Cause when the world is losing all control, _

_TEEN TITANS, GO!!!!_

_1,2,3,4, GO!!!! TEEN TITANS!_

"Okay……" All of the fellow Hogwarts students exclaimed unenthusiastically together.

"Well this is Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven, and Starlight, and I'm Robin." The batman sidekick look alike said.

"Well uh hi" Harry greeted, "I'm Harry, this is Ron, Hermione, Mina, Legolan, Exon, Jenna, Rose, Ginny, Blaise, Dragonhead Dan, Devon, and Malfoy"

"It's Draco!" Draco and Hermione shouted in unison, they looked at each other with a scowl of hatred.

"It's dinner time!" Ron then exclaimed excitedly.

"YUMMY!" all the girls, except Jenna and Raven, yelled.

"Do they have tofu?" Beast Boy asked.

"Uhh… I dunno." Mina answered him.

"What's this 'tofu' you are talking about? Is it a type of wild animal meat?" Rose asked

Beast Boy's eyes widened, " I don't eat meat!!!!! I'm a vegetarian! Tofu is a soy bean curd mixture made to replace meat."

"Oh, sounds nasty!!!" Rose answered him, as they headed to the Great Hall for dinner.

Dumbledore had all the titans sorted into their house and the results were as followed,

Raven- Ravenclaw (hence her name)

Starfire- Gryffindor (brave)

Starlight- Gryffindor (brave)

Cyborg- Hufflepuff (someone has to go there!)

Beast Boy- Slytherin (he's green!)

Robin- Gryffindor (brave, not bad)

Then in the middle of the feast Ginny shrieked ,"I think I feel whiskers!"

Then she looked under the table and saw a white bunny!

"Eeeeeeeeeeek!!! A white bunny!!!!" she screamed and then she got up and ran. Then the whole Great Hall started to run out.

"Settle down!!" Dumbledore yelled. Umbridge went over to pick up the harmless looking bunny when it jumped up and onto her neck ripping her to shreds (YAAAAY!!!!). (It's Monty Python-ness!!!)

_The Next Day_

Hermione, Mina, Draco, Legolan, and the Teen Titans were up in Draco and Hermione's Head dorm when suddenly a Knight broke in through the window and 'Ni!' Was all he said.

"Ni!" he huffed at them as they cringed.

"Who are you?!?!" Draco asked alarmingly, (apparently he's never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail!).

"I am one of the Knights who say Ni!" he said as once again everyone cringed.

"What do you want?" Draco questioned him.

"Bring me a shrubbery! Make the shrub pretty too, but not cheap looking, yet not to expensive looking either, and I sha-"

"IT!!!!" Mina and Hermione exclaimed together.

"Don't say the word!" The Ni Knight yelled, clasping his ears.

Draco was confused, very confused. Mina stabbed him in the chest as he fell out the castle window to his death.

"If you ever meet a Knight that goes Ni," Everyone cringed, "then say 'it!' And it will well, hate it." Hermione explained to everyone while they nodded.

It had been a hectic first week of school; it had been a very hectic first week of school.

A/N- We hope you like it!!! Give us 3 reviews and you'll get more!

HAPPY CHRISTACHAUNAKWANZICA!!!

Ellie- Hehehe well that was fun to write, Monty Python rox! SPOM SPOM SPOM!!!

Mina- hehehehehheheheheheheheeee! This is fun!


	2. COFFEE!

_A story by Ellie (rumplekitty16) and her friend Mina (Bluerose- S.S.)._

A/N- Dragonhead Dan is a Slytherin friend of Draco's who has a dragon for a head. Exon is Mina's little cousin, a Gryffindor version of Draco. Mina is Hermione's old friend from Middle Earth who is an elf. Legolan is Legolas's son, Mina's boyfriend. Rose is Mina's other little cousin in Gryffindor. Devon is Rose's boyfriend and Jenna is a little goth/emo girl who is going out with Exon. Starlight is Starfire's sister, in blue.

Draco and Hermione are the Head Students it's their 7th year.

Hermione and Starlight were sitting on Hermione's bed in her room talking about nothing in particular.

"So who do you like?" Hermione asked giggling.

"Um….. Speedy!" she replied grinning.

"Who's that?"

"My boyfriend back in our world."

"Oh, how did you get here?"

"Larry, a Robin look alike. He has a magic finger and he accidentally zapped us here, but now we don't know how we'll get back."

"Oh I'm so sorry, this must suck!"

"Yeah, it kinda does, anyway…. Who do you like?"

"Oh well umm err…." Her face reddened and she was starring at the red painted wall, "I kinda sort of well err like Mal-Draco." She was burying her face in a pillow now.

Starlight was deep in thought so the only thing she managed to say was, "okay." Hermione looked up.

"You won't tell anyone will you? He musn't know! He still hates me and I still have to hate him you- just DON'T TELL!!!!!" she was freaking out now, (if you couldn't tell!)

"I can hook you two up ya know!"

"You can!!!! Omigod!!! I-I I- OMIGOD!!!!" she was so peppy now she was literally bouncing off the walls (I think she just hit the Ming vase!)

They went out of her room and down to the common room, when they arrived Draco was there. He was making coffee (you'll see what happens...)

Starlight suddenly sniffed it and bounced around.

"Coffee? COFFEE!!!! COFFE COFFEE COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" She was bouncing around and getting herself a cup.

Hermione suddenly went hyper also, "COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Draco looked at her quizzically.

"You like coffee too?"

"No, I just felt the need to say something hyperactively."

"Oh, ok."

"COFFEE!!!!!!" Hermione and Starlight rang out together. Draco looked at them then joined in the madness running around while they all drank coffee and screamed a lot. Suddenly Mina walked in and they all stopped.

"Oh great the party pooper's here!" Draco muttered to no one in particular. She just ran over to the coffee table and grabbed some, joining them in their craze.

Hermione went upstairs to go shower and Mina left with a cup of coffee (and her archery set) in hand. So that left Starlight and Draco in the Common Room…..with no one else (Ellie smirks, D/HR 4EVA!)

"Who do you like?" Starlight asked him, the coffee's effect wearing off.

"Oh well umm err…." His face reddened and he was starring at the black painted coffee pot, "I kinda sort of well err like Gra-Hermione."He was blushing like an Olympic runner after a 500 yard dash. Beads of sweat were falling from his forehead.

"Oh well that's great, she likes you too!" she said smiling and disappeared in a cloud of blue sparkles. He was smiling, too stunned to do anything. Suddenly Hermione came down the stairs wearing a red tank top and red/white girl boxer shorts (her pj's) and fluffy red slippers.

"If you need to take a shower you can." She told him as he moved over to the bottom of the stairs, right to where she was standing.

He wrapped his arms around her holding her close, she gasped quite surprised. He just held her for awhile, she would hug him back, but she was to stunned to do anything about it.

"Okay," he said after a few moments of silence, he kissed the top of her head and headed up the stairs.

A/N- We hope you like it!!! Give us reviews and you'll get more!

Ellie- Hehehe well that was fun to write, Monty Python rox! Anyone who likes D/Hr please join my C-2 community!

Mina- hehehehehheheheheheheheeee! This is fun! NI!!!!!! Botha! (Inside joke). Just so you know I helped write a lot of this too! I told you Ellie and I were friends (see my info page thingy)!!! This story is like the energizer bunny, it will just keep going…..and going, and going…….


	3. We couldn't think of a chappie title!

_A story by Ellie (rumplekitty16) and her friend Mina (Bluerose- S.S.)_

_With little bits added by Jordan every now and then._

Ellie's Disclaimer- We/I don't own anything cept the computer we type this on, Mina and Starlight, and we made Blaise Zabini a guy in here, lol. We also own Jenna. Otherwise Tom Felton comes over cuz he's my bestest friend!

Hermione smiled to herself happily. Suddenly Raven and Jenna walked in with (Omigod!) smiles on their faces.

"What you smiling about?" Hermione asked.

"What do you think?" Jenna replied in her dark tone, the smile fading.

"You-you didn't see what just happened did you?" Jenna and Raven just smirked. "Oh god," Hermione smacked herself on the forehead. Suddenly Draco came downstairs with a towel wrapped around his waist; Hermione couldn't help but look at his rock hard abs and six-pack.

"Well that was quick" Hermione muttered smirking

"We're out of soap." He replied smiling

"Oh," she said looking away. Jenna and Raven were trying not to laugh, but did anyway (oh-my-god), suddenly Harry walked in, looked up, and turned back around, "I don't wanna know."

Suddenly they all burst out laughing. (Ellie-tears are streaming from her face; mina is rolling around on the floor laughing) Mina was walking down the hall.

"Don't go in there!" Harry said as she was about to open the door. She ignored him and went ahead and opened it, Hermione, Raven and Jenna were sitting on the floor talking. Draco had remembered that he could of 'Accio'-ed the soap, so he resumed his shower. Mina decided to play a prank on him; she turned down the thermostat for the bathroom so when he got out he'd be REALLY cold (she put it at like 38 degrees people, brr).

Suddenly they all heard a shriek coming from the bathroom. Hermione immediately rose and dashed up the stairs and opened the bathroom door, she saw something she didn't necessarily want to see so she shut the door when she saw Draco standing there shrieking….in the _nude_. She opened the door again and saw that he had put on a bathrobe.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked, relieved to see him WITH clothes, although he didn't look half bad without them…… BAD thoughts Hermione (Ellie-tom…..nude….drools… Mina- rolls eyes at Ellie's stupidity).

"I-its c-cold, you d-don't notice i-it?"

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Mina must of done something, here I'll turn up the heat." She turns it up to its normal temperature. She left the room and left Draco to finish getting ready, trying to push the pictures of him right outside the shower out of her mind.

Hermione went into her room and wanted to change clothes, she didn't feel like, well, lets just say her clothes weren't clean. She changed into something fresh that she just got. She put on a pair of khaki shorts and a black shirt with a green happy bunny on it with the quote- "It worries me how dumb you are." She went back downstairs and talked with all her friends.

A while later Draco came downstairs, he was dressed in khaki pants and a white muscle tank with an orange and yellow button down shirt. His hair was unbrushed and looked like that of a little boy's.

"Aww did the ferret dress up to impress Hermione?" Mina taunted.

"Aww Mina, why don't you talk to someone who likes you?" Draco retorted. Hermione cracked up.

"Okay, Hey Jenna, Raven" Mina talked to them. Hermione was rolling around on the floor laughing, as tears were streaming down her face. Draco and everyone else were starring at her.

"It's from a game" she explodes in laughter.

"What game?" asked Starlight as she walked in the door.

"The third Harry Potter game." Her face was as red as Weasley's hair. "Not to mention, that's what's written on Mina's shirt!" She once again exploded in laughter. Everyone turned to look at her shirt as they laughed too.

Meanwhile, Hermione had plugged in her PS2 and was playing Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. She was playing as herself and walked up to Pansy and Pansy replied- "Why don't you talk to someone who likes you?" (that quote belongs to whoever made the HP games, not us, unfortunately). Suddenly two migrating coconuts flew across the screen, they were followed by two AFRICAN swallows, and then three EUROPIAN swallows (watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail to understand).

Awhile later some house elves appeared with trays of food. When Hermione and Draco opened the dishes they were surprised to see giant plates of….

"SPAM!" Hermione, Mina, and Draco all exclaimed together.

"SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM! Hey wait, GROSS!" they exclaimed together. The house elves removed those trays and opened two more revealing the actual main course of shrimp (YUM), soup (yum), and broccoli (which was IMMEDIATELY discarded (Blah!)) As the house elves disappeared they all dug in to the food.

_Awhile later when they were plenty full of delicious food…_

They were all sitting around in the common room watching a T.V. show. The common room was decorated in different shades of red and green, and a little black. There was a sofa and two arm chairs with two side tables. A giant big screen T.V. (yes the muggle thing called a television) was in the middle on a wall. Draco was lying on the couch, Hermione had her back against the couch and her knees pulled up against her chest, Mina was lying contently in an armchair half asleep. Starlight was on the floor lying on her stomach, a bowl of popcorn in front of her, Raven was levitating off the floor trying to meditate, Jenna was sitting beside her, trying to copy Raven. Ginny was also on the floor next to Starlight trying to steal some popcorn, receiving a swat on the hand each time, and Blaise was sitting in the other armchair, having just arrived, and was talking to Draco about all of Pansy's whining about missing Draco.

Suddenly the T.V. started to play a theme song, it was to Teen Titans! Suddenly everyone became interested in the T.V. It was the "Sisters" episode with our dearest (not!) friend Blackfire.

A/N- We hope you like it! Give us reviews and you'll get more!

Ellie- Sorry we haven't updated, we got in a mini fight! Sorry bout that! PZ REVIEW! Don't burn okay? Cuz I WILL dis back! Trust me; I am the master of Burns, Disses, and Dawging. I have gotten one burn before, wasn't pretty people!

Mina- I must agree with what Ellie said. No soap, HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! I just started typing my own story! YAAAY! lol


	4. To Middle Earth!

**Harry Potter Meets the TTS's Monty Python Style**

**Chapter Title soon to be named and if not then we are screwed**

Hermione woke up in her bed, "Didn't I fall asleep on the couch?" Hermione pondered to herself. She looked beside her to see Draco fast asleep, a piece of her hair was entwined in his fingers, suddenly he opened his eyes.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they heard everyone downstairs yell.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they heard Pansy screech. Hermione covered her ears.

"What the hell is Pansy doing here?" Draco asked her.

"What the flip are you doing in my room?" she asked

"Well I uh, carried you up to your room last night after everyone fell asleep and I guess I just fell asleep." He shrugged.

"Well then, um, why were you; not to mention you still are, playing with my hair?" she asked him

"Well I, um, it's really pretty, and I wanted to, you know, touch it, but, then I found it so soft I wanted to uh… keep it? Well anyway I fell asleep holding it so, um, yeah."

Hermione shrugged, "Ergh, I'm tired," she said snuggling into a pillow, well she thought she could, but for some odd reasons all the pillows disappeared (winkwinknudgenudge) "Uh, Draco, where are all the pillows?" she asked him

"I don't know," he replied, still stuffing the last overstuffed pillow under her bed, "Err, um, if you uh, need a uh, pillow, uh, I'm, uh…here?.?." he said blushing

She smiled at him then moved over and rested her head on his shoulder. He grinned to himself. "Draco?" she asked him.

"Hmm?" he replied.

"You can put your arm around me now."

"Right, love," he put an arm around her and she snuggled closer to him.

Draco looked down at Hermione smiling, she opened her eyes and looked at him as he bent down and kissed her.

The door burst open to reveal Mina and Pansy each in shock.

"Okay, let's go now," Mina said dragging Pansy out the door.

Pansy bit Mina, "DrAcKiE PoOoOo! WhAt ArE yOu DoInG wItH tHaT MuDbLoOd?"

Draco looked up, "Pansy get the fuck out, she is to be considered as a future Malfoy, you speak to her as you would me, now then, GET OUT OF MY-HERMIONE'S ROOM!"

"That sounded really weird," Hermione whispered to him.

"We'll leave you alone now," Mina said to them, throwing Pansy out the door. "Finally! PANSY WHY THE BLOODY FLIP DID YOU BITE ME? YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" Mina screamed holding a wrench above her head.

"AHH NOT A WRENCH!" Pansy squeaked.

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Where were we then?" Hermione smiled.

Everyone woke up to see Mina chasing Pansy out the door with a wrench in her hand, "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE! Oh, um, sorry, did I wake you guys?" she asked.

They all groaned at her, "Well don't go upstairs, Hermione and Draco need to be alone."

"What do you mean by that?" Ginny ask.

"You don't want to know," Mina shook her head.

"Yes I do, otherwise I wouldn't have asked," Ginny retorted.

"Ergh, fine. Um, well let's just say they are officially together." Blaise raised an eyebrow, "They were kissing," Mina said simply.

Everyone nodded and pretended to be busy with something. Draco and Hermione came downstairs and everyone starred at them, "Uh, anyone want to get breakfast?" Hermione asked squeezing Draco's hand.

"Let's go to my realm!" Mina said excitedly.

"What is this realm you speak of and how must we get there?" Star asked.

"Ever read Lord of the Rings?"

"Yes I am quite acquainted with those books." She said grinning.

"Well I live there."

"You do?" Star's eye's lit up, "I always have wished to go there! Let us go now please!"

And off they were to Rivendale, where the festival of festivals was going on!

"'Ello there Mina, Legalon!" a girl with brown and blonde hair cheered, "Who's 'ere with ya?"

"Well this is Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, Robin, Ginny, Jenna, Blaise, Draco, Hermione and StarLight."

"Oh I see, why 'ello there to ya all, I'm Elle," A black haired boy came up behind her, Oh, and this is Joel," she giggled. Mina went and hugged her, "It's so good to see ya Mina! We missed you, terribly," Elle said squeezing her best friend.

"Guys this is my best friend and practically sister Elle, and her um, other best friend Joel."

"You guys hungry?" Joel asked, they saw his face, he was very punkish rebel looking.

They all went off to go and get some food at the local um, pub (Elle-oO?). Hermione looked up to see Elle and Raven in a conversation, turned out Elle wasn't usually as happy as she was earlier, as it turns out her best friend for about a year, Joel, had asked her out earlier that day. He was talking to Draco while holding Elle's hand. Hermione wished she had someone like that, Draco was, there, but, he wasn't there, if that makes any sense at all, which I don't think it does, but it should, and I hope it does babble, babble, babble.

Robin was back at Hogwarts after seeing that the people of Rivendale said for him to take off his mask because it looked ridiculous and made him mad.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were having a contest against Merry and Pippin to see who could drink the most and were all merrily singing-

_You can drink your fancy ales_

_You can drink 'em by the flagon_

_But the only brew_

_For the brave and true_

_Come's from the green dragon!_

_© Lord of the Rings Return of the King_

"I win!" They heard Pippin yell.

"No you didn't! Merry retorted.

"Did too!" he whined.

"Um guys," Cyborg interrupted ," Well, uh, we won."

'DID NOT!" Merry and Pippin yelled.

"DID TOO!" Cy and BB yelled back.

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

And so on

Until…

"SHUT THE BLOODY FLIP UP!" Mina and Elle shouted at them.

The four settled down and all sat at another table and continued to talk in a low voice.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!'"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Suddenly the table they were sitting at burst into flame as Elle's uncontrollable magic power (and uncontrollable temper! (Mina)) took force.

"ELLE!" Mina and Joel shouted.

"Err, um, " she squirmed, "Sorry but they were annoying!"

"Eh, good point!" Mina said giggling.

Star let the ice cream in her bowl melt and drip out of her spoon as she watched it intently.

"Star, what's wrong?" her sister StarLight asked.

She sighed, "I miss Robin and his silly temper," Star said glumly, still watching her ice cream. Her sister nodded in understandment.

Suddenly people working at the pub emerged from the back room carrying a sparkling cake towards Hermione, Draco, Mina, Elle, Joel, BB, Rae, SL, SF, etc. table and were singing, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR mumbles an inaudible name HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOU!" The stopped right in front of Raven.

"Uh….. It's not my birthday…" she muttered.

The waiters looked around and caught eyes with Elle, she smiled in delight. "Happy Birthday…Miss" they said before entering the back room.

"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" Joel asked horrified over the fact that he didn't get her a present.

"Uhh…no, I just wanted the free cake…." She said, taking another bite in her mouth. Select parts of the table laughed.

A rather large Swedish woman walked over to the group, "Helga the Swedish cook vants to take your order!" she said smiling.

"Then why doesn't Helga ask us?" Cy asked.

"That's because Helga is asking you now! I am Helga the Swedish cook who talks in third-person!"

"Right, I will have a… anything vegan- TOFU!" Beast Boy was all excited.

"I'll have something…" said Raven.

"I'll have… a cinnamon sugar scone." Elle said, "And a Vanilla Coffee if that's ok."

"JONES BERRY LEMONADE!" Mina yelled.

"I'll just have a raspberry scone and some diet coke," Joel said happily.

And They Had Their Little Scones Like A Tea Party Until Forever After and It's The End

…..Not Really…..

We will be back here shortly…we hope….

Elle: I wanna scone!  
Mina: munch munch

Elle: what ya eatin? I wanna scone! Gimme it!  
Mina: munch munch

Elle: sigh I love Joel….

Mina: I love Billy

Elle: Well to bad Billy isn't in the story now is he?

Mina: So? I still love him

Elle: I love Joel….

Mina: Oh dear God not again


End file.
